October 15, 2019
Relationship Couplets, Season 2
(Round 2 of Relationship Couplets… let’s go deeper. Enjoy!)
Wave a red flag in front of a bull
and he’ll charge right into action;
Relationship red flags will find me
in the opposite direction.
Truth hurts; I know. Uncomfortable growth,
and mountains new to climb…
But running from truth will compound the hurt
for an inopportune future time.
A for Astute, B: Brilliant,
C for Charm and Cheer;
But if I see a red flag,
De alphabet stops dere.
Children beg for a toy,
then leave it in the dust;
Adults act the same way
when driven by their lust.
Red apples can make apple pie
Red strawberries make jam;
Red flags will make me quite upset…
None for me please then, fam! 🙂
Raw fruit is great for nutrition,
Frugality for wealth;
And choosing some trustworthy friends
Is good for mental health.
A colorful sunset,
A lucent full moon,
A true confidant…
I wish these for you, soon.
Marriages today end up
in heartbreak and divisions;
Keep yourself away from these
by making sound decisions.
Advancement in technology:
The latest cars and phones…
Regression in relationships:
Barren and loveless homes.
Repentance is not evidenced
by sorrow and long tears…
Restitution for hurts and wrongs,
and payment of arrears.
Many value “Handsome!” and “Cute!”
Not sure that’s the right track…
I care less how you please my eyes;
more how you’ll guard my back.
A triangle has three straight sides,
A pentagon has five;
Know all the sides of your fiancé
Before you take the dive.
The more I chat with older ones,
the more I learn the truth:
“Don’t rush into marriage, young man…
preserve your strength and youth.”
It’s time we face a sobering truth,
of academic schools:
They don’t prepare for relationships…
Not even basic tools!
Give a good tree your love and care
and it will yield much fruit;
Good relationships choices at the start —
This seems a safer route.
In spring, the trees bear new green leaves,
In fall, they turn to brown;
When red flags at the first appear
My smile 🙂 turns to a frown. 🙁
Mary had a little lamb,
A cute and fluffy thing;
Make sure, Mary, you do not have
a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
We wear thick clothes in winter time,
and less when it is hot;
if you find wolves in sheep’s clothing,
eventually they’ll rot.
Ask this of a potential spouse:
“Will you be a good friend?”
Because there’s something you should know:
The honeymoon must end.
We laud technological advancements,
with new machines and gauges;
But relationships? At an all-time low…
we’re back in the Dark Ages!
Red flags, I have mentioned these quite often,
But as yet I have not named any;
So here are ten flags you should learn to detect…
Henceforth, please sharpen your antennae. 🙂
Red flag #1: Love-bombing
This technique is a sly attempt
to win your trust and affection;
Beaneath this veneer is a con artist,
upon closer inspection.
Red flag #2: Rushing Intimacy
Take time to vet a potential spouse…
Do not rush into intimacy;
Don’t expose yourself to a total stranger
and get caught by a cheap fantasy.
Red flag #3: Mirroring
A person who says all you want to hear,
and does all you want to see,
May just be mirroring what you want
while skewing your reality.
Red flag #4: Fragmented Relationships
A history of bitter divorces,
And pure chaos in every sphere…
A person’s track record of relationships
Will speak volumes, loud and clear.
Red flag #5: Big Ego
Are you trying to feed someone’s ego?
You have chosen a life that is tough.
You will give them the world, e’en the shirt off your back…
You will soon learn that it’s never enough.
Red flag #6: Degradation/Humiliation
Take a breather from someone
(or maybe a vacation)
If the tenor of your friendship is
Red flag #7: Refusal to Grow/Change
All organisms, in general,
have a tendency to grow;
and a person who refuses to
may stifle your airflow.
Red flag #8: Disregard of the Truth
It’s hard to live with broken bones
or with a broken tooth;
far worse is it to live with one
who wars against the truth.
Red flag #9: Chronic Lying
Pathological or compulsive —
Matters not whate’er the brand.
Chronic lying is pernicious;
On this take a serious stand.
Red flag #10: Craves Power and Control
While there’s nothing wrong with power,
keep an eye on one who craves.
Power alloyed with poor morals?
This can lead to early graves.
“Real” precedes “romantic”
in the English dictionary;
And those who get the order wrong…
of them you should be wary.
Don’t give the keys to a stranger
to your local address;
Much less give access to your heart,
and side-step undue stress.
Your house has walls, and solid doors;
fences and sturdy gates…?
Then set up boundaries for your heart,
That no-one violates.
What causes true maturity?
Has less to do with age…
more with overcoming obstacles,
and growth at every stage.
Modern “love” is too expensive;
Keeps your wallet looking bare…
Find me in the ‘old school’ section:
Show someone you truly care.
A person’s current deportment
Limits what you can see;
The answers that you truly need
Are in his history.
No matter how many good times you’ve had
in the relationship with your spouse,
it’s the overcoming of the trials and pains,
that determines the real strength of your house.
A secure house will grant you rest,
A comfy bed? For sure…
But a trustworthy spouse to rest your heart
Will long-term rest ensure.
A hat protects you from the sun,
An umbrella from rain;
Use discernment in relationships —
Protect your heart from pain.
Many value external beauty,
Few seem to value the inner;
But when you’ve found them both, my friend?
You’ve found yourself a winner. 🙂
Children learn from what they hear
and mainly through their vision;
so do your best, and keep them far
from modern television.
Your words can give a person life,
or it can bring them death;
Be sure, therefore, to contemplate
before you give them breath.
Some have thrown caution to the wind
in their choice of a spouse…
Instead of finding “Happy Home”
they found a “Haunted House”.
If you neglect to say kind words
and compliment your spouse,
Don’t be surprised when you then find
no pillars for your house.
Relationships can’t always be
about the things of joy;
Discuss the sad and painful too…
E’en those things that annoy.
Some take a cruise to an unknown place,
Some for the tropics embark;
I think I’ll go for the simpler things
like taking swings in the park. 🙂
To give her earthly comforts
husbands do all that they could;
But sometimes what she really needs
is to be understood.
Many faux eyebrows and eyelashes,
hair pieces of every kind;
Yet still to find a replacement for
a balanced, beautiful mind.
Red flags on beaches indicate
That waters there are rough;
And red flags in relationships
mean goings there are tough.
Relationships can’t be maintained
by constant, lame excuses;
Might tolerate for a short while,
but then you get the ‘deuces’.
Plant apple seeds for apple trees,
Corn seeds for ears of corn;
Plant God’s Word in relationships
for good fruit to be born.
Success in our relationships
won’t come by wishful thinking.
Set goals! Set dates! Set solid plans!
Your desires to actions linking.
Marriage challenges all you’ve got!
So listen here, young man:
It won’t just all be “fun!” all day…
You’ll need a long-term plan.
A captain needs a trusty map
To keep from getting lost;
And purpose in relation ships
keep them from being tossed.
A one-sided relationship —
Where you do all the work;
Sounds like a classic case to me,
where red flags quietly lurk.
This young man truly loves the LORD?
And by His Word, improves?
Strong diligent… but yet caring?
Yes — Uncle Brent approves. 🙂
It takes two halves to make a whole,
Two cents to make a penny;
Two caring and committed souls
for marital success any.
Sweeten all your food with sugar?
Or put salt in everything?
Only fun times in relationships?
I think you’re missing something.
Can’t spend all your time daydreaming,
Can’t spend all your time in books;
Can’t be entirely and utterly
consumed with someone’s looks.
For a recipe, read every line;
For a book, read every chapter;
For a spouse make sure you inspect all
the points of his character.
House construction gurus say:
“Measure twice, and cut once.”
Sounds like relationship advice,
a tenet of prudence.
To prove a dress, you try it on;
Sit down to prove a shoe;
What proves potential spouses are
the trials they’ve been through.
Can’t build a house upon the mud…
Sounds like a slippery mess;
Can’t build a good relationship
In French, you don’t say “I miss you”…
“Tu me manques” is what’s said;
It means “You are missing from me”…
I like that version instead.
Planes fly at higher altitudes
A truth we should accept;
No distance in relationships
without profounder depth.
Let a mango ripen first…
You’ll get the best of mileage;
And let a person ripen first
Before prospecting marriage.
Spoilers, rims, a good paint job…
Still this car could be fake;
Smiles, and charm, and friendliness
Does not a good spouse make.
Don’t run from marital challenges
E’en though they may be rough;
For anything that lasts a while
Is built of tested stuff.
Children really like puppies and kittens…
Not so much their feeding and care;
And of persons who “love you” for superficial things,
I would say very much to beware.
Before you leave the house today,
before you hit the roads…
Be sure to express to your beloved
your commitment, with your words.
Good virtues for sound relationships?
A good study, if we can;
I can’t think of a better model
than the Proverbs 31 woman.
א (Alef) – Proverbs 31:10
If you have found a virtuous wife,
A strong and capable spouse;
Exceeding value you have found!
With her, you build a house.
ב (Bet) – Proverbs 31:11
“Her husband trusts her from his heart,
She’ll prove a great asset…”
A spouse that you can safely trust
Will come with no regret.
ג (Gimel) – Proverbs 31:12
“She works to bring him good, not harm”,
Yes, all her days of life.
Someone who purposes your peace
Will cause you little strife.
ד (Dalet) – Proverbs 31:13
“She builds supplies of wool and flax
and works with willing hands.”
A house with diligent partners
Can handle life’s demands.
ה (Heh) – Proverbs 31:14
“She’s like those merchant vessels, brings
Her food from far away.”
Good judgement in provisioning
Will avert much dismay.
ו (Vav) – Proverbs 31:15
“It’s yet still dark, when she awakes
to nourish her household…”
A sacrificing spouse, my friend,
Is worth much more than gold.
ז (Zayin) – Proverbs 31:16
“She considers a field, then buys it,
and then she plants a vineyard.”
Value a forward-thinking spouse,
Who is a faithful steward.
ח (Het) – Proverbs 31:17
“She gathers her strength around her;
throws herself into her work.”
Industriousness? Yes please, and thanks!
Hard work she will not shirk.
ט (Tet) – Proverbs 31:18
“She sees her business affiars go well;
her lamps stays lit at night.”
Watchfulness — e’en in little things —
Doth good fortune invite.
י (Yud) – Proverbs 31:19
“She puts her hands to the staff with the flax;
her fingers — the spinning rod.”
A spouse with diligent, skilful hands?
Truly a gift from GOD.
כ (Kaf) – Proverbs 31:20
“She reaches out to embrace the poor,
the needy with open arms.”
Best choose a spouse with sympathy,
than mere external charms.
ל (Lamed) – Proverbs 31:21
“For her household, snow brings no fear;
All will be doubly clothed.”
Foresight, coupled with strategy…
These traits can ne’er be loathed.
מ (Mem) – Proverbs 31:22
“She makes her quilts; she clothes herself
In fine linen and purple.”
Artisanry and craftmanship
Make a good house more fertile.
נ (Nun) – Proverbs 31:23
“Her husband’s known at city gates,
With leaders of the land.”
The influence of a righteous spouse
Grants favour on ev’ry hand.
ס (Samekh) – Proverbs 31:24
“She makes garments, and sells them too;
Supplies merchants with sashes.”
A business-minded spouse prevents
A house from going to ashes.
ע (‘Ayin) – Proverbs 31:25
“Clothed with strength and dignity,
she can laugh at the days to come.”
With a spouse who values preparedness,
Disaster will be seldom.
פ (Peh) – Proverbs 31:26
“When she opens her mouth, she speaks wisely;
on her tongue is loving instruction.”
The mouth of a spouse can bring forth life,
Or induce swift destruction.
צ (Tzadeh) – Proverbs 31:27
“She watches how things go in her house,
with the idle, does not eat bread.”
Some prefer outward beauty,
I’ll take mindfulness instead.
ק (Kuf) – Proverbs 31:28
“Her children arise; they make her happy;
and her husband — he praises her too…”
When you’ve chosen to live by righteous principles,
Richer blessings will accrue to you.
ר (Resh) – Proverbs 31:29
““Many women have done plenty wonderful things,
but you are surpassing them all!””
A husband, thus blessed, will be big on your praise,
And on censure, most likely, be small.
ש (Shin) – Proverbs 31:30
“Charm can lie, beauty can vanish…
but praise for those who fear ADONAI.”
Those who’ve chosen to live by righteous principles
Have a beauty no-one can decry.
ת (Tav) – Proverbs 31:31
“Give her a fair share of the things she produced;
let her works speak her praise at the gates.”
She has put in the work, thus her reward is sure,
The honour of ADONAI awaits.
Marriages often run aground,
And even sometimes end,
On what may seem a trivial point:
To treat the other as a friend.
So you were married to an unworthy spouse…
Do you think life has come to an end?
Don’t let a mistake ruin the rest of your life!
ADONAI can restore you, my friend.
No lasting marriage is sustained by the dreams
of our younger years: childhood and teens;
Excitement, fun and toys must surely be replaced
By commitment, intimacy and means.
You won’t let pests into your home:
No termites, snakes or flies;
Then don’t allow discourtesy
torment, abuse or lies.
The body needs a detox when
Things function unseemly;
Our hearts, also, need healing from
A major thing, that I have found,
that reveals sound character:
The capacity to apologize,
and make amends right after.
If you abuse a loving soul
And treat her like a louse,
One day, instead of warmth and cheer,
You’ll find an empty house.
Whether physically attractive,
Or an intellect that flatters;
I will search a little deeper…
For the Character that Matters.